…what happened when someone I’ve loved for a very long time said goodbye to me. I spent time writing him a very affectionate love letter, apologizing for all I’d put him through, and still he didn’t care… So I gave up on him and opened up my wrist with short, deep cuts… then painted on the letter… used my own blood to cover up all the stupid wasted words I wrote, and burned the edges of the paper too. This is my freshly slit forearm, with all the blood cleaned off of it and the cuts still open. Yeah, I’m really messed up… and fucking pathetic, I know. All this over a stupid boy. But I miss him… And the loneliness is cutting so sharp and deep into my heart that I can barely breathe. I wish I still had someone that bothered to worry about me all the time. It made me feel important… but I guess shit happens. And wrists get cut, too.
(I’ll probably lose followers for this trigger, but… I’m going to be honest on my blog, if nothing else. This is me, uncensored.)
|Them:||"Don't do anything stupid."|
|Me:||But what's so stupid about self harm? What's stupid about giving into your emotions the easiest way instead of waiting for something to heal you that's clearly not helping? What's stupid about letting out the pain and stress and madness in the fastest way so I can return to my life instead of drowning in it? What's so stupid?|
|Me:||Feels guilty if I eat|
|Me:||Feels guilty if I don't eat|
The Virgin Suicides.
|Mom:||Can I see your tumblr?|
|Me:||WHAT TUMBLR?! *throws laptop out window, runs to airport, moves to Mexico, changes name to Pepito*|
Wish me luck! Haven’t ate, yet! I’ll try to limit myself at 1000 calories, today.
Working my way down! (: